Friday

Hello! Yesterday I went to my friend's pub for a few hours. I was worried id feel a bit trapped once dropped off but because its my local area that I grew up in, I felt relaxed and eventually got a taxi home. This cheered me up a lot and showed me I can go back to my old sociable ways! Today I got a lift from another friend to H's house (a friend who no longer has panic attacks) We stopped at a petrol station and I didnt panic once because since the panic episodes I have only got lifts from my parents so I was really proud that Id broke that habit. I stayed at my friend's from half eight till half twelve with no urge to run home or panic! I just kept telling myself "you have money so if you wanted to go home you could"I stopped focusing on that and relaxed by 'getting into' the film we watched and concentrated on that. I turned down offers of wine because I was doing so well I didnt want to jepodise it. And to be honest I probably had a better time without it! We laughed and talked about old times and it felt as though nothing bad had ever happened to me. I urge you, if theres something you want to do, then do it. If your dog had an injured leg but you threw its ball, would it run? Yes because the enjoyment of chasing his ball would outweigh the pain. Live your life! Sometimes going to uni gets me down because its compulsory&not for my enjoyment and I think this contributes to the difficulty of pushing myself to go. The soul purpose of being sociable or active is for your enjoyment. Pushing yourself to do these things may be hard but these are things You enjoy so they will counter balance the panic you feel! Afterwards you will feel like you have accomplished something. I certainly feel like Im getting my life back even after the bad week I had previously. If I can do it, so can you! I believe in you.
I didnt have a counselling session because my mum's car was at the mechanic's but I feel fine and will be having another as usual next week. Stay positive, Goodnight!