Wednesday 8 February 2012

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My personal panic tips!

These are things that have helped me through my panic disorder.

Breathe. I know its simple but the more you hyperventilate, the more physical side effects you are going to experience. You're already going through absolute turmoil in your mind, you don't need added physical pressures. In through your nose and out through your mouth always helps me because I think "I'm breathing, I am not going to pass out. This might be scary, but I am not going to die"

Talk. For years I was embarrassed to admit I was frightened of things that 'nobody else was' This just made it all the more scary when I went into a full blown panic episode because nobody understood why. At first people would brush it off and tell me that they "get worried too", they have "bad days too" but this just made me angry. Talk to someone about it, and if they don't listen, keep talking! You matter and your feelings matter! You might find you don't even need anybodies advice but talking helps you to understand and come to terms with how you're feeling.

No Alcohol. I used to drink to 'escape' the panic feeling. This is the wrong answer. When I drank I still panicked and felt less in control of my feelings and of the fear. Combatting anxiety is hard at the best of times without clouding your mind with alcohol. One or two drinks is fine, but don't binge drink to fight the problem. You can fight it, not the bottle.

Be positive. Things can seem very bleak because of panic attacks. I used to think "I wont get a job because I cant even go to uni, My partner will think I'm boring and weird and leave me, my friends will hate me for never going out with them, Ill end up in a mental hospital" Excuse my french, but this is sh*t.
I'm not mental, I have panic attacks. Even if there are things I cant do at the moment, I Will get there just like someone who has broke a leg will re-learn to walk. Putting a positive spin on your circumstances will improve your mood and even give you the enthusiasm and determination to go and achieve these goals.

Forgive the past. I was and still am, a bit bitter about birthdays I have missed or when I have let people down because I was frightened of going in case I had a panic attack. Forget what you did in the past, this is now and it is never going to happen again so move on. If we dwell on things we will never move forward.


My First day Back At Uni

Helloooo! I have been itching to write this on the way home.
I was a quite anxious last night before I went to sleep and when I got up this morning, but on the way there I was O.K. My dad kept telling me stories about his old dog and we talked about my seminar which kept my mind off the journey and my usual worry that is 'I'm too far from home'.
When I got there I was a little anxious to be 'left' at university by myself but I kept thinking to myself "just be brave for f*cking once" ( excuse the language) I kept doing my breathing exercises - in through my nose and out through my mouth and walked straight to the room. Thankfully I could go straight in.
During the seminar I didn't even think about panicking because I had so many questions and topics to talk about with the lecturer and other pupils, but if I did get anxious I would quietly do my breathing. I came out very happy and proud of myself and so was my dad.
The thing is, people say distracting yourself isn't curing the anxious problem, it's just taking your mind off your panic. No this is wrong. By going to university and not asking to go home or turn the car around I wasn't distracting myself from panic I was getting on with my life and not letting it take over everything. By reading a book, going out, seeing your friends, going for a jog and doing things YOU want to do, this is not distraction from panic, its saying panic isn't my life. I am not even going to acknowledge it as part of my life to have to distract myself from it.
On October 11th 2011 I felt like my life was over and I would never get out of bed. 4 months later I'm back at university, I'm going out with my boyfriend and it may not be much but its a start. I have got my foot on the first rung of that ladder to a panic free life and I will fight until I get to the top of it.
I find that happiness interlinks with anxiety much of the time. It is important to remember happiness is not a destination its a journey. I might not be panic free yet but I am definitely happy.

I didn't just do this for me, although it is my life I am trying to better, I did it for you too because if I can do this, so can you.
This time in your life can be shit, can be horrible, can be the most challenging thing you'll ever go through but when you do get through it, which you will, it will be character building, it will make you stronger and it will make you who you are.

I have no idea why God or fate decides to throw these things at us in life, but maybe it is to prove to ourselves that we are strong and we can do the things we thought we couldn't.