Hello all,
You've caught me on a very interesting day!
On Friday night I went to a social gathering at my friends house. I was slightly panicky because I hadnt been in awhile but I got a lift with my friend and calmed down when I got there. After a few hours we decided to go into town. My friends car is extremely small so I was worried Id feel a bit claustrophobic and panic I couldnt get out but I told myself Im fine. If I panic Ill just ask her to stop and Ill be ok. I was fine and even suggested we take the roof off her convertible! I must have been feeling brave.
I had a brilliant night and didnt even think about going home which results in me getting in at 4am!
Saturday I felt very hungover and a bit strange. Im sure alcohol can have some sort of affect on your anxiety so I went for a run to clear my head and make me feel less poorly.
I got abit scared whilst running my second lap of the fields which I live by so I decided to go home. When running home I got myself really panicked and I have no idea why. I was thinking to myself "oh my god my house looks so far away" This is the first time I have felt like that in a long time and when I got home I was quite disappointed wondering why Id let it take over my life again. I know this sounds dramatic but I think Im quite hard on myself and if I have any lapse I start telling myself Im back to square one.
My friend then came round because we were attending a 21st together. I thought Id feel a bit funny in her company because Id panicked that day and thought she might think I was acting quite strangely by being restless and breathing heavily but I was ok. We got ready together and even took a detour on the way to the party. I did get quite panicky because I dont particularly like travelling at night time or going to places I wouldn't usually go but we were at the venue before my fears could materialise.
The party was really good. Me and my friend chatted and caught up with each other and it was a successful panic free night.
However today my mum told me that my dad couldnt take me to university tomorrow. Obviously I have been travelling to and from uni with him since October and this frightened me a lot.
I worked myself up into tears and rang my partner. I thought to myself "I cant do this, Ill never be able to get to uni by myself" and even became scared Id have another episode like the one in October. When I spoke to my partner though he was absolutely brilliant. He rationalised what I had been thinking and told me how far I had come in 5 months. He told me to be patient and that big changed wouldnt happen over night and in his words " babies must crawl and walk before they run" He also said I do have control over my own mind. My mind doesn't make me go and kill somebody else I have a choice. This really got me thinking in the 'right' way.
I thought to myself "yes I have come really far because before I couldn't even leave the house" I also recognised the symptoms of a panic attack like feeling dizzy and having racing thoughts and told myself it was just my body and adrenaline. I reassured myself I wasnt crazy and kept the statistic in my that 1 in 4 people have experienced a mental health problem at one time. This has really helped me today and now Im back in my living room watching television feeling rather calm.
Today has shown me that I need to be less harsh on myself and hopefully shown you that even I who is usually quite positive and panic free still panics. Im still a panicker but I will get better with time :)
Talking really is the best medicine and Im very lucky to have such a supportive partner. I think I may write my own personal tips on panic now, having relived the feeling in the last hour! I know what works for me and I hope it can help you also.
xx
You've caught me on a very interesting day!
On Friday night I went to a social gathering at my friends house. I was slightly panicky because I hadnt been in awhile but I got a lift with my friend and calmed down when I got there. After a few hours we decided to go into town. My friends car is extremely small so I was worried Id feel a bit claustrophobic and panic I couldnt get out but I told myself Im fine. If I panic Ill just ask her to stop and Ill be ok. I was fine and even suggested we take the roof off her convertible! I must have been feeling brave.
I had a brilliant night and didnt even think about going home which results in me getting in at 4am!
Saturday I felt very hungover and a bit strange. Im sure alcohol can have some sort of affect on your anxiety so I went for a run to clear my head and make me feel less poorly.
I got abit scared whilst running my second lap of the fields which I live by so I decided to go home. When running home I got myself really panicked and I have no idea why. I was thinking to myself "oh my god my house looks so far away" This is the first time I have felt like that in a long time and when I got home I was quite disappointed wondering why Id let it take over my life again. I know this sounds dramatic but I think Im quite hard on myself and if I have any lapse I start telling myself Im back to square one.
My friend then came round because we were attending a 21st together. I thought Id feel a bit funny in her company because Id panicked that day and thought she might think I was acting quite strangely by being restless and breathing heavily but I was ok. We got ready together and even took a detour on the way to the party. I did get quite panicky because I dont particularly like travelling at night time or going to places I wouldn't usually go but we were at the venue before my fears could materialise.
The party was really good. Me and my friend chatted and caught up with each other and it was a successful panic free night.
However today my mum told me that my dad couldnt take me to university tomorrow. Obviously I have been travelling to and from uni with him since October and this frightened me a lot.
I worked myself up into tears and rang my partner. I thought to myself "I cant do this, Ill never be able to get to uni by myself" and even became scared Id have another episode like the one in October. When I spoke to my partner though he was absolutely brilliant. He rationalised what I had been thinking and told me how far I had come in 5 months. He told me to be patient and that big changed wouldnt happen over night and in his words " babies must crawl and walk before they run" He also said I do have control over my own mind. My mind doesn't make me go and kill somebody else I have a choice. This really got me thinking in the 'right' way.
I thought to myself "yes I have come really far because before I couldn't even leave the house" I also recognised the symptoms of a panic attack like feeling dizzy and having racing thoughts and told myself it was just my body and adrenaline. I reassured myself I wasnt crazy and kept the statistic in my that 1 in 4 people have experienced a mental health problem at one time. This has really helped me today and now Im back in my living room watching television feeling rather calm.
Today has shown me that I need to be less harsh on myself and hopefully shown you that even I who is usually quite positive and panic free still panics. Im still a panicker but I will get better with time :)
Talking really is the best medicine and Im very lucky to have such a supportive partner. I think I may write my own personal tips on panic now, having relived the feeling in the last hour! I know what works for me and I hope it can help you also.
xx
