Friday 30 August 2013
Fear
Do you ever have those times where you consciously observe yourself being worried about something and your 'before' brain comments, like a reflex, on how ridiculous it is?
So I think "Oh that's scary" and my 'before' brain (myself before the panic) , without effort from myself, will be like "how daft that's easy"
How strange that you still have conflicting thoughts. Is that evidence that you are NOT your thoughts, they are just products of a crazy situation that tried to set the precedent for the rest of your life and doesn't always succeed?
Anyway, I just had a conscious conversation with myself where I thought, what would happen if I decided I was going to do everything I was frightened of? For the first time, in a long time, I had real clarity over the thoughts going round in my head. Sort of like an observant role where I could question the validity of my fears and thoughts and what I was doing about them
Although I do something about my panic, I still live my life, I've not ticked everything off my to do list, my crazy list I have of what 'normal' people would be doing. Now I'm not being hard on myself, I know I'm doing great and Im so proud of how far I have come but there's always one bit more I'm happy to dream about doing. Dream, not do. I think Ive hit the point where I'm back to having a comfort zone, my comfort zone has grown but its sitting stagnant again.
Can a conscious decision to do things really equate to actually doing them. Is it enough?
Well, Ill let you know how I get on!
xx
So I think "Oh that's scary" and my 'before' brain (myself before the panic) , without effort from myself, will be like "how daft that's easy"
How strange that you still have conflicting thoughts. Is that evidence that you are NOT your thoughts, they are just products of a crazy situation that tried to set the precedent for the rest of your life and doesn't always succeed?
Anyway, I just had a conscious conversation with myself where I thought, what would happen if I decided I was going to do everything I was frightened of? For the first time, in a long time, I had real clarity over the thoughts going round in my head. Sort of like an observant role where I could question the validity of my fears and thoughts and what I was doing about them
Although I do something about my panic, I still live my life, I've not ticked everything off my to do list, my crazy list I have of what 'normal' people would be doing. Now I'm not being hard on myself, I know I'm doing great and Im so proud of how far I have come but there's always one bit more I'm happy to dream about doing. Dream, not do. I think Ive hit the point where I'm back to having a comfort zone, my comfort zone has grown but its sitting stagnant again.
Can a conscious decision to do things really equate to actually doing them. Is it enough?
Well, Ill let you know how I get on!
xx
Interesting quote:
"A pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an injured life. It
is the tear [that results] from the injury of the oyster. The treasure
of our being in this world is also produced by an injured life. If we
had not been wounded, if we had not been injured, then we will not
produce the pearl."
Stephan Hoeller
I have said before that this 'anxiety' could be an opportunity. I hardly got on a train before because I didnt like them and anxiety gave me the kick to do it one day. Maybe we are given tests, to prove to ourselves that we are strong enough to get through tough times.
I am not weak because I have anxiety, I am strong- because I have anxiety and I still get on with my life x
Stephan Hoeller
I have said before that this 'anxiety' could be an opportunity. I hardly got on a train before because I didnt like them and anxiety gave me the kick to do it one day. Maybe we are given tests, to prove to ourselves that we are strong enough to get through tough times.
I am not weak because I have anxiety, I am strong- because I have anxiety and I still get on with my life x
Thursday 29 August 2013
Thoughts
Hi All,
Feeling a bit down today if I'm honest. Wondering if there is a link between feeling down and feeling anxious. Always seems to come at the same time.
However, Im still super proud of my walk home the other day!
Going to listen to the trusty HonestGuys before I go to sleep tonight. The anxiety video should serve me well!
I think that's the difference between me now and my first panic attack. I know how to cope with things better and don't think "oh my god there's nothing that can help me". There really is!
Been having a look at the stats for this blog, they're really starting to pick up again!
I hope Im helping in some shape or form!!
Uploading some inspirational pictures now!! Ive found some good'uns as Id like to say :)
Night all!!
(If you have trouble sleeping tonight, hot chocolate or milk, breathe in for 3 and out for 6 and put The Honest Guys on. We've all been there, and we're all still here :) You're not alone & you can get through this.
Goodnight xx
Feeling a bit down today if I'm honest. Wondering if there is a link between feeling down and feeling anxious. Always seems to come at the same time.
However, Im still super proud of my walk home the other day!
Going to listen to the trusty HonestGuys before I go to sleep tonight. The anxiety video should serve me well!
I think that's the difference between me now and my first panic attack. I know how to cope with things better and don't think "oh my god there's nothing that can help me". There really is!
Been having a look at the stats for this blog, they're really starting to pick up again!
I hope Im helping in some shape or form!!
Uploading some inspirational pictures now!! Ive found some good'uns as Id like to say :)
Night all!!
(If you have trouble sleeping tonight, hot chocolate or milk, breathe in for 3 and out for 6 and put The Honest Guys on. We've all been there, and we're all still here :) You're not alone & you can get through this.
Goodnight xx
Tuesday 27 August 2013
Doing things you thought you couldnt
Well im on my road and ive just walked home from work ...on my own! First time ive done that and it wont be the last.
At first I found myself waiting for that make or break thought - something will come into my mind and make me too scared to do this. Did it? Well sort of but when it did I make a conscious decision that I was going to do this for myself. And here I am..
Im at my front door as I finish typing.
Love xx
Friday 23 August 2013
REALLY USEFUL!
I almost forgot to reccommend this!
This I have found absolutely amazing on nights I want to chill out or feel dis-heartened.
I cant recommend this enough!
'Relief from Anxiety - A Guided Visualisation' from The Honest Guys.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_jcEpwKQXc
I also find this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jyy0ra2WcQQ
Brilliant if you're feeling slightly worried and need to regulate your breathing.
I find the videos from them absolutely fantastic!
Breathing in for 3 and out for 6 is also really good.
xx
This I have found absolutely amazing on nights I want to chill out or feel dis-heartened.
I cant recommend this enough!
'Relief from Anxiety - A Guided Visualisation' from The Honest Guys.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_jcEpwKQXc
I also find this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jyy0ra2WcQQ
Brilliant if you're feeling slightly worried and need to regulate your breathing.
I find the videos from them absolutely fantastic!
Breathing in for 3 and out for 6 is also really good.
xx
Drink Responsibly
Hello all,
Well the other night I indulged in one too many glasses of wine. I was celebrating with family and ended up mixing Red and White wine. The next day I was absolutely crippled with anxiety. I still went out shopping around town but I felt the all too familiar symptoms of terror, adrenaline and worries I hadnt thought for awhile.
This time I was much more equipped to deal with the situation and just kept telling myself that this is a symptom of having a hangover and didn't try to 'escape'. I must admit it did make me cry though and its not something I will be doing again!
This situation has made me reflect on other times I have been anxious and Im slowly connecting the dots.
Although Im unsure If i was drinking around the time of my first ever panic attack, I know I was drinking the night before I had a panic with my friends while going through Macdonalds drive thru, Ive also panicked after heavy drinking for a friend's birthday whilst going onto the motorway.
On this basis, as I said before, I will definitely be steering clear of excessive drinking and stick to one or two glasses!
Im feeling better today and shant let this get in the way of my progress!!
Lots of Love!
Well the other night I indulged in one too many glasses of wine. I was celebrating with family and ended up mixing Red and White wine. The next day I was absolutely crippled with anxiety. I still went out shopping around town but I felt the all too familiar symptoms of terror, adrenaline and worries I hadnt thought for awhile.
This time I was much more equipped to deal with the situation and just kept telling myself that this is a symptom of having a hangover and didn't try to 'escape'. I must admit it did make me cry though and its not something I will be doing again!
This situation has made me reflect on other times I have been anxious and Im slowly connecting the dots.
Although Im unsure If i was drinking around the time of my first ever panic attack, I know I was drinking the night before I had a panic with my friends while going through Macdonalds drive thru, Ive also panicked after heavy drinking for a friend's birthday whilst going onto the motorway.
On this basis, as I said before, I will definitely be steering clear of excessive drinking and stick to one or two glasses!
Im feeling better today and shant let this get in the way of my progress!!
Lots of Love!
Friday 9 August 2013
Big Test
Hi All,
I may have recently mentioned I have a train journey dwindling in the near/distant future.
Its across the country, on my own so Im quite scared If Im honest!
I really want to do it as it will mean the world to my partner and although hes been really supportive I feel like panic has been the third person in our relationship. Id really like to do this and show him how much I appreciate all of the help and love he's given me to help me over the past year.
My plan is to do more things on my own up until then - My thinking is that this will gear me up for the 'Big Tamale' I really should stop using metaphors to make it seem even more overwhelming :(!
I may also use something I found quite helpful once which is 'Bach Rescue Remedy' Or test out a few herbal 'calmy calmy' supplements in the run up - If i do Ill let you know how i get on!
I knowww - If ive become so independant why do I need herbal remedies to take the edge off - This is the first journey Ive done solo in my life over 300 miles. I think Ill need something a little extra for my first go!
Either way Im getting on the 'Express' Train which means theres no stops but the journey is quicker.
My plan is to post the whole journey so you see everything from my eyes.
Ill keep you posted!
I may have recently mentioned I have a train journey dwindling in the near/distant future.
Its across the country, on my own so Im quite scared If Im honest!
I really want to do it as it will mean the world to my partner and although hes been really supportive I feel like panic has been the third person in our relationship. Id really like to do this and show him how much I appreciate all of the help and love he's given me to help me over the past year.
My plan is to do more things on my own up until then - My thinking is that this will gear me up for the 'Big Tamale' I really should stop using metaphors to make it seem even more overwhelming :(!
I may also use something I found quite helpful once which is 'Bach Rescue Remedy' Or test out a few herbal 'calmy calmy' supplements in the run up - If i do Ill let you know how i get on!
I knowww - If ive become so independant why do I need herbal remedies to take the edge off - This is the first journey Ive done solo in my life over 300 miles. I think Ill need something a little extra for my first go!
Either way Im getting on the 'Express' Train which means theres no stops but the journey is quicker.
My plan is to post the whole journey so you see everything from my eyes.
Ill keep you posted!
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