Friday 30 August 2013
Fear
Do you ever have those times where you consciously observe yourself being worried about something and your 'before' brain comments, like a reflex, on how ridiculous it is?
So I think "Oh that's scary" and my 'before' brain (myself before the panic) , without effort from myself, will be like "how daft that's easy"
How strange that you still have conflicting thoughts. Is that evidence that you are NOT your thoughts, they are just products of a crazy situation that tried to set the precedent for the rest of your life and doesn't always succeed?
Anyway, I just had a conscious conversation with myself where I thought, what would happen if I decided I was going to do everything I was frightened of? For the first time, in a long time, I had real clarity over the thoughts going round in my head. Sort of like an observant role where I could question the validity of my fears and thoughts and what I was doing about them
Although I do something about my panic, I still live my life, I've not ticked everything off my to do list, my crazy list I have of what 'normal' people would be doing. Now I'm not being hard on myself, I know I'm doing great and Im so proud of how far I have come but there's always one bit more I'm happy to dream about doing. Dream, not do. I think Ive hit the point where I'm back to having a comfort zone, my comfort zone has grown but its sitting stagnant again.
Can a conscious decision to do things really equate to actually doing them. Is it enough?
Well, Ill let you know how I get on!
xx
So I think "Oh that's scary" and my 'before' brain (myself before the panic) , without effort from myself, will be like "how daft that's easy"
How strange that you still have conflicting thoughts. Is that evidence that you are NOT your thoughts, they are just products of a crazy situation that tried to set the precedent for the rest of your life and doesn't always succeed?
Anyway, I just had a conscious conversation with myself where I thought, what would happen if I decided I was going to do everything I was frightened of? For the first time, in a long time, I had real clarity over the thoughts going round in my head. Sort of like an observant role where I could question the validity of my fears and thoughts and what I was doing about them
Although I do something about my panic, I still live my life, I've not ticked everything off my to do list, my crazy list I have of what 'normal' people would be doing. Now I'm not being hard on myself, I know I'm doing great and Im so proud of how far I have come but there's always one bit more I'm happy to dream about doing. Dream, not do. I think Ive hit the point where I'm back to having a comfort zone, my comfort zone has grown but its sitting stagnant again.
Can a conscious decision to do things really equate to actually doing them. Is it enough?
Well, Ill let you know how I get on!
xx
Interesting quote:
"A pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an injured life. It
is the tear [that results] from the injury of the oyster. The treasure
of our being in this world is also produced by an injured life. If we
had not been wounded, if we had not been injured, then we will not
produce the pearl."
Stephan Hoeller
I have said before that this 'anxiety' could be an opportunity. I hardly got on a train before because I didnt like them and anxiety gave me the kick to do it one day. Maybe we are given tests, to prove to ourselves that we are strong enough to get through tough times.
I am not weak because I have anxiety, I am strong- because I have anxiety and I still get on with my life x
Stephan Hoeller
I have said before that this 'anxiety' could be an opportunity. I hardly got on a train before because I didnt like them and anxiety gave me the kick to do it one day. Maybe we are given tests, to prove to ourselves that we are strong enough to get through tough times.
I am not weak because I have anxiety, I am strong- because I have anxiety and I still get on with my life x
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)