Sunday 19 February 2012

Diary 6

Hello,
Had another counselling session on Friday. It went really well and I explained how depressing my week had been. She reiterated what I thought and told me that this was fine! After that I went food shopping feeling very positive and spent the weekend with my boyfriend. We went for a walk around the local park and even went to see his mother who I haven't been to see for months because of the panic attacks. This had made me feel really positive because I feel as though I have finally had a breakthrough. I think that my panic was attributed to the unaddressed stress and worries in my life. Now I am addressing these issues such as being frightened of being without my parents and seldom being independent, blocking out my feelings about my partner being away, being lonely living by myself and of the future I am starting to fight the panic a lot more. I have created the metaphorical situation in my mind that if I avoid situations, I am feeding the panic and making it into a giant monster that can ruin my life BUT if I carry on with my day to day life I will be starving the monster and eventually he will cease to exist :) I am not suggesting you give your panic a persona but to me it makes me feel as thought the panic is more conquerable and that I can fight it.
 The most important piece of advice I can give you at the moment is that you are OK. Human beings are absolutely amazing creatures that can come through anything including this. Don't be down hearted that you cannot do things right now, it will happen. Its OK to express your feelings. If I want to cry because my partner's gone, I will cry. And two things I have mentioned before, talking and positive thinking. Nothing bad is going to happen to you. Life is a beautiful gift that you have been given and do NOT let insignificant things ruin it for you. Your brain was built for these challenges, you can come through them.