Helloooo! I have been itching to write this on the way home.
I was a quite anxious last night before I went to sleep and when I got up this morning, but on the way there I was O.K. My dad kept telling me stories about his old dog and we talked about my seminar which kept my mind off the journey and my usual worry that is 'I'm too far from home'.
When I got there I was a little anxious to be 'left' at university by myself but I kept thinking to myself "just be brave for f*cking once" ( excuse the language) I kept doing my breathing exercises - in through my nose and out through my mouth and walked straight to the room. Thankfully I could go straight in.
During the seminar I didn't even think about panicking because I had so many questions and topics to talk about with the lecturer and other pupils, but if I did get anxious I would quietly do my breathing. I came out very happy and proud of myself and so was my dad.
The thing is, people say distracting yourself isn't curing the anxious problem, it's just taking your mind off your panic. No this is wrong. By going to university and not asking to go home or turn the car around I wasn't distracting myself from panic I was getting on with my life and not letting it take over everything. By reading a book, going out, seeing your friends, going for a jog and doing things YOU want to do, this is not distraction from panic, its saying panic isn't my life. I am not even going to acknowledge it as part of my life to have to distract myself from it.
On October 11th 2011 I felt like my life was over and I would never get out of bed. 4 months later I'm back at university, I'm going out with my boyfriend and it may not be much but its a start. I have got my foot on the first rung of that ladder to a panic free life and I will fight until I get to the top of it.
I find that happiness interlinks with anxiety much of the time. It is important to remember happiness is not a destination its a journey. I might not be panic free yet but I am definitely happy.
I was a quite anxious last night before I went to sleep and when I got up this morning, but on the way there I was O.K. My dad kept telling me stories about his old dog and we talked about my seminar which kept my mind off the journey and my usual worry that is 'I'm too far from home'.
When I got there I was a little anxious to be 'left' at university by myself but I kept thinking to myself "just be brave for f*cking once" ( excuse the language) I kept doing my breathing exercises - in through my nose and out through my mouth and walked straight to the room. Thankfully I could go straight in.
During the seminar I didn't even think about panicking because I had so many questions and topics to talk about with the lecturer and other pupils, but if I did get anxious I would quietly do my breathing. I came out very happy and proud of myself and so was my dad.
The thing is, people say distracting yourself isn't curing the anxious problem, it's just taking your mind off your panic. No this is wrong. By going to university and not asking to go home or turn the car around I wasn't distracting myself from panic I was getting on with my life and not letting it take over everything. By reading a book, going out, seeing your friends, going for a jog and doing things YOU want to do, this is not distraction from panic, its saying panic isn't my life. I am not even going to acknowledge it as part of my life to have to distract myself from it.
On October 11th 2011 I felt like my life was over and I would never get out of bed. 4 months later I'm back at university, I'm going out with my boyfriend and it may not be much but its a start. I have got my foot on the first rung of that ladder to a panic free life and I will fight until I get to the top of it.
I find that happiness interlinks with anxiety much of the time. It is important to remember happiness is not a destination its a journey. I might not be panic free yet but I am definitely happy.
I didn't just do this for me, although it is my life I am trying to better, I did it for you too because if I can do this, so can you.
This time in your life can be shit, can be horrible, can be the most challenging thing you'll ever go through but when you do get through it, which you will, it will be character building, it will make you stronger and it will make you who you are.
I have no idea why God or fate decides to throw these things at us in life, but maybe it is to prove to ourselves that we are strong and we can do the things we thought we couldn't.
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