So im on the bus now. Paid my £1.80 :) slightly anxious but im feeling good! Bring it on kind of mood. Its set off. Comforting it goes as fast as a car. Nice big space not claustraphobic at all. Bus driver also seemed really nice. Looking out of windows. Not many people on it either. Feeling fine. Breathing steadily in threw nose&out threw mouth. And there I am nearly at the stop I said Id meet my dad at :) better than i thought amd defonitely not what i expected. Negative thoughts really arnt reality. Completed my homework woohoo!!xxxx
Monday, 19 March 2012
Waiting to get on the bus..
Monday
Hello! Its Monday night!
ON Friday my partners sister came round with her boyfriend. It was nice to see them both. I then went next door to my friends for a drink.
On Saturday and Sunday I mostly cleaned the house for when my partner comes home! Its been quite relaxing to be honest.
Today I was quite anxious about travelling to hospital with my friend for her hospital appointment, but I kept telling myself that it was a serious appointment and she really needed me there so I just got on with it. Months ago I would have panicked I was too far away from home and would have had to let her down and feel really bad about it, instead I knew I had a mobile phone so I couldnt get 'stuck' anywhere and I was in a hospital - if anything its the safest place to be haha! When she was in her appointment I read my magazine and did a crossword. This really helped me to distract myself from thinking negative thoughts. We got a taxi home and I didnt panic once during the journey!
Tonight Im going to get on a bus, which is the 'homework' my CBT therapist gave me for tomorrow morning. I know Ive left it late but Ive had a busy week and aslong as I actually do it then thats fine, no point stressing myself out with it. After my CBT session Im going bakc to the hospital with my friend. I think doing this again will reinforce the fact that nothing bad will happen to me and that I can travel again. Yipee!
Getting on with things and not thinking up excuses is really helping me to 'quit' anxiety. Instead of thinking "what can I say to get out of this" I just do it instead.
My CBT therapist told me that If I stay in a situation for long enough my anxiety will start to decrease and if I repeat that situation again and again eventually Ill have no anxious feelings towards it. This is my mantra at the moment and im sticking with it.
Again I will repeat what I always say. In October I really thought I shouldnt be here anymore because I was just 'existing' by not fullfiling any of my goals and not going out, now Im beginning to live again. If I can do it so can you!!!! Trust me, Ive been there.
xxx
ON Friday my partners sister came round with her boyfriend. It was nice to see them both. I then went next door to my friends for a drink.
On Saturday and Sunday I mostly cleaned the house for when my partner comes home! Its been quite relaxing to be honest.
Today I was quite anxious about travelling to hospital with my friend for her hospital appointment, but I kept telling myself that it was a serious appointment and she really needed me there so I just got on with it. Months ago I would have panicked I was too far away from home and would have had to let her down and feel really bad about it, instead I knew I had a mobile phone so I couldnt get 'stuck' anywhere and I was in a hospital - if anything its the safest place to be haha! When she was in her appointment I read my magazine and did a crossword. This really helped me to distract myself from thinking negative thoughts. We got a taxi home and I didnt panic once during the journey!
Tonight Im going to get on a bus, which is the 'homework' my CBT therapist gave me for tomorrow morning. I know Ive left it late but Ive had a busy week and aslong as I actually do it then thats fine, no point stressing myself out with it. After my CBT session Im going bakc to the hospital with my friend. I think doing this again will reinforce the fact that nothing bad will happen to me and that I can travel again. Yipee!
Getting on with things and not thinking up excuses is really helping me to 'quit' anxiety. Instead of thinking "what can I say to get out of this" I just do it instead.
My CBT therapist told me that If I stay in a situation for long enough my anxiety will start to decrease and if I repeat that situation again and again eventually Ill have no anxious feelings towards it. This is my mantra at the moment and im sticking with it.
Again I will repeat what I always say. In October I really thought I shouldnt be here anymore because I was just 'existing' by not fullfiling any of my goals and not going out, now Im beginning to live again. If I can do it so can you!!!! Trust me, Ive been there.
xxx
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