Diary 6

Hello,
Had another counselling session on Friday. It went really well and I explained how depressing my week had been. She reiterated what I thought and told me that this was fine! After that I went food shopping feeling very positive and spent the weekend with my boyfriend. We went for a walk around the local park and even went to see his mother who I haven't been to see for months because of the panic attacks. This had made me feel really positive because I feel as though I have finally had a breakthrough. I think that my panic was attributed to the unaddressed stress and worries in my life. Now I am addressing these issues such as being frightened of being without my parents and seldom being independent, blocking out my feelings about my partner being away, being lonely living by myself and of the future I am starting to fight the panic a lot more. I have created the metaphorical situation in my mind that if I avoid situations, I am feeding the panic and making it into a giant monster that can ruin my life BUT if I carry on with my day to day life I will be starving the monster and eventually he will cease to exist :) I am not suggesting you give your panic a persona but to me it makes me feel as thought the panic is more conquerable and that I can fight it.
 The most important piece of advice I can give you at the moment is that you are OK. Human beings are absolutely amazing creatures that can come through anything including this. Don't be down hearted that you cannot do things right now, it will happen. Its OK to express your feelings. If I want to cry because my partner's gone, I will cry. And two things I have mentioned before, talking and positive thinking. Nothing bad is going to happen to you. Life is a beautiful gift that you have been given and do NOT let insignificant things ruin it for you. Your brain was built for these challenges, you can come through them.

Bad week

Hello, let me tell you where Im at this week. Was having a really down week where I let anxiety get ontop of me, kept thinking nothing would get better. I didnt get up till lunch time and rarely went out. Today I had enough and had an epiphany. Everybody gets sad, down and fed up. Anything from money, relationships, work or health upsets them and this is ok. We are humans and we are built to feel! Theres nothing wrong with being down aslong as it doesnt last forever. So what about this week, who cares :) Its normal to feel xx

Journey home

Bonjuar, On my way home now. Proud that I did attend my seminar but feeling a bit sad that I have to have this constant bloody battle with panic. On the plus side Im obviously winning although I think it would be useful to purchase my own car and travel independantly which would boost my confidence. I wish I had the money! Nomatter how I feel though panic hasnt stopped me today :) xxx

Journey to uni

Hello! I am currently on the motorway/highway/autobahn to university and thought I would blog about my trip. Slightly stressed because I got up late and have rushed around which has made me more anxious but Im trying to relax myself by doing breathing excercises and thinking positively. Im sweating quite alot (how attractive) but a friend of mine who also suffers from panic attacks has just booked a holiday abroad and this has spurred me on today. If she can do that, I can do this. Im already off the motorway :) Some positive statements I have been telling myself are; "in two hours ill be on my way home" "nothing bad is going to happen to me" These are helping a lot. I will blog on my journey home&let you know how Im feeling. Hope this was useful xxx

Myths and Facts of Mental Illness

Taken from 'Time to Change'

 

Myth or fact?

Challenging the myths about mental illness can be a good way to get people thinking and talking...

• Myth: People with mental illness can’t work. 
• Fact: Chances are, you probably work with someone with mental illness

• Myth: Mental health problems are very rare
• Fact: Mental health problems affect one in four people

• Myth: People with mental illness never recover
• Fact: People with mental illness can and do recover.

• Myth: People with mental health problems are different from normal people:
• Fact: We all have mental health, just like we all have physical health.

• Myth: After experiencing a mental health problem, people are weaker.
• Fact: Many people who have gone through this actually feel stronger

• Myth: People with mental illnesses are violent and unpredictable.
• Fact: People with mental illness are more likely to be a victim of violence

• Myth: It’s best to leave people alone if they develop a mental health problem.
• Fact: Most people with mental health problems want to keep in touch with friends, family and colleagues, it can be a great help in their recovery.

• Myth: I don't know anyone with a mental illness
• Fact: Someone you know or love has experienced a mental illness

• Myth: People aren’t discriminated against because of mental health problems
• Fact: Nine out of ten people with mental health problems experience stigma and discrimination.

Time to Change

http://time-to-change.org.uk/home

This website is doing an amazing job to raise the profile of mental health discrimination. There are also other people's stories and forums for you to talk to other like minded individuals. It is particularly inspiring because of the high profile persons involved such as Steven Fry. Take a look!

Dairy 5

Hello all,
I had another counselling session today which focused mainly on confidence. Although I have come to terms with panic, understand it and know how to challenge it, I lacked the confidence to do anything about it.
This is where our old friend avoidance crops up. Its so much easier to avoid 'scary' situations rather than address and confront them. I would constantly refuse to walk the dog, wouldn't travel to university or make excuses because I was frightened of feeling the panic again. Doing this just suffocated me and prevented me from experiencing life. It is a depressing and bleak situation to be in, believe me I know.
But, I am beginning to regain my confidence by talking down the gravity of the situation. I do this by reassuring myself with positive statements and rationality. "I can breathe, I can get to uni, Nothing will happen to me"
I have found doing things independently has also helped me greatly, like when I walked to the hospital by myself and going on jogs. This has shown me I do not have to rely on anybody else. It has also strengthened the reason why I think I am in this situation.
As a child I was very happy but I hardly went to other kids parties, night stay school trips, sleepovers, but did go out with my dad a lot. This helped me to fortify the bond with my parents but not to develop an Independence and over the years prevented me from developing a strong self confidence and belief. I would be the last person to blame my parents because obviously they have protected me, done the best for my life and I love them dearly but I think the refusal to cut the cord right up until university is what caused the stress and ultimately the panic of living in the real world without the emotional and mental tools to do this.
I may be wrong& it could be codswallop as I'm not a psychiatrist but one thing I firmly believe is that stress causes panic attacks. If I feel stressed I let it out instead of 'putting on a brave face'. If I want to cry Ill go and have a cry and I will always talk about how I feel. If you hold your emotions in, it's like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. It's so important to talk to anybody you can about the way you feel. Don't be worried they'll think your silly or weird, there are thousands of people like you!